The term crush can be seen as a type of infatuation or ‘puppy love’ towards someone, generally stemming from adolescence. A first crush begins usually in childhood where one feels a particular type of fondness about someone outside of their own family. Noticeable signs are when time is spent daydreaming or fantasizing about said person. Having a crush is a coming-of-age experience that is brought all throughout life, whether it be having a crush on someone older, a role model, an actor, a famous person etc. They are also generally are seen as fantasizing about a potential partner or future with someone.
Meeting someone via online dating or speed dating allows transparency when it comes to knowing one’s intentions. However, how do you know if someone is just being friendly or if they actually have a crush on you? When does it go from being platonic to a full-blown crush?
Ever since being a child, individuals have been consciously and/or subconsciously picking apart subtle signs trying to discern crushes. The tell-tale sign that was instilled into our minds was “if they are mean to you it means they like you”, which as you can imagine, comes with certain complications. But what are the genuine signs to look out for when someone has a crush on you?
- They will always find a reason to talk to you
When someone has a crush on you, they generally will pull out all excuses in the book to have a reason to talk to you. They might ask you for directions somewhere that they could’ve found themselves, or what your opinion on a matter is, or for some recommendations etc. It may seem like a minor/silly reason to start up a conversation but take it as a compliment that they are genuinely interested and want to speak to you.
- They initiate conversation
We all get anxious and uncomfortable when it comes to making the first move, hoping they message first. But when someone buries that fear and messages you or speaks to you first constantly, they’re definitely into you. It generally is quite a reliable sign that someone has a crush on you, as not many people want to speak to someone for the sake of it if they don’t like them!
- They remember what you say
Is there anything better than someone remembering something you said to them once or a long time ago, remembering the little things about you. It means they’re paying attention to what you say because they are genuinely interested in you and everything you have to say. If they remember all the little details, they are definitely crushing hard on you.
- None of your love interests are good enough for you, in their opinion
If you find that, in their opinion, no love interest is ever good enough for you, it may be because they are trying to indirectly hint that they are the one for you. Someone with a crush on you is not going to sit and listen to you talking about a potential love interest that isn’t them…therefore, don’t be alarmed when they assure you that no one is good enough for you, it might just mean you’re looking in the wrong place.
- They smile at you a lot
You might catch them gazing at you smiling with the biggest grin you’ve ever seen. This one is pretty self-explanatory – they like what they see and can’t stop themselves from showing it.
- They talk about the two of you in the future tense
When someone’s feelings progress past the platonic stage, you’ll be able to tell when they start talking about the two of you in the future tense. It might be because they genuinely see a future with you or just really want one. They might mention doing things together or going on holiday to see new places together. Whatever it maybe, they want to do it with you.
- They tease you
Instead of ‘if they’re mean to you it means they like you’, it’s more of a, ‘if they tease you it means they like you’. Teasing is a playful way of showing when someone has a crush on you, it gets you both giggling and laughing with each other. It isn’t with malicious intent or to be mean, it’s very light teasing that provokes you in a playful way.
- They don’t look at their phone when they’re with you
There isn’t anything worse than being out with someone, or on a date, and they pick up their phone to browse through social media or reply to a few messages, making you feel like you are boring them. You know when someone has a crush on you when they are so invested in your company and conversation that they forget to check their phone. It means they want to be present with you and take in every moment they have with you.
- They find excuses to touch you/be near you
Generally, when someone has a crush on you, they will find more reasons to touch you, going from platonic handshakes to more warm intimate embraces. These embraces become more frequent and for longer periods of time. Consider what you desire, as they may soon go in for a kiss, depending on how receptive you are.
- They ask you lots of questions
They are genuinely interested in you and your life and want to find out every little thing about you. Take it as a compliment, as they are investing their time in getting to know you, which is seemingly rare in today’s day and age.
- Their behaviour changes
Individuals have a tendency to feel anxious and shaky when their crush is around. You may have met them initially and they came across as extremely confident and extroverted, and now they seem more reserved. Don’t be alarmed when they get quieter and more anxious when you are around. It is quite normal; it means you have power over their feelings and there is immense attraction between you two.
- They will tell you
One of the main traits that people say they find attractive is confidence. The confidence to be open and honest with how they feel and where they stand. As nerve-wracking as it is having a new crush, some people prefer to lay it all out on the table in the risk of you rejecting them. The prior signs are indicators that they look out for as well, if you reciprocate the laughs, touching, genuine interest in them, they might find it as an opening for them to make their move. Explicit honesty is key. After all, the worst that could happen is you say no, right?
Crushes are fun and exciting, and sometimes they are only temporary. It just means there is attraction towards someone new and a desire to get to know them better. It is impossible to predict the trajectory of any relationship, as feelings and attractions can change. They can be frustrating at times, because it is hard to identify whether someone is just being nice, as a friend, or if they are into you, more than a friend. Bottom line, it helps if you identify these signs before having the ‘feelings’ conversation, but honesty and communication is key when it comes to opening up to someone new.