Jealousy is one of the strongest, most complex human emotions that all 7.8 billion of us experience. Not to be confused with envy, although there is a very fine line between the two. Envy refers to a reaction of lacking something or desiring something someone else has, whereas, jealousy refers to the threat of losing something, or someone. Undoubtedly, a little jealousy in a relationship is natural and completely normal, however, when it clouds judgement and all other emotions, that is when it can become a burden on a relationship. So how do you overcome this powerful emotion?
- Identify where the feeling is coming from
If your partner has a history of cheating and infidelity, then of course, you have every right to be weary. Was it a one-off or is there a repetitive pattern you need to watch out for? Or perhaps you are just feeling insecure. Is it something you need to work on personally or is it something you can work on together? In which case, communicate with them and let them know. If your partner has reassured you and proven to you that they would never cheat, then you have nothing to worry about. Until they give you a reason not to trust them, you have no reason not to.
The utmost important factor and foundation of any relationship; communication. If you have something that is genuinely bothering you, then pull your partner aside and let them know exactly how you are feeling. Be sure to speak in a calm and collected manner, as opposed to angrily coming across as if you are blaming them. This direct communication can pull a positive response out of your partner and help ease any tension. By speaking to them, it can put your worries and concerns to the side by allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your partner.
- Work on yourself
Remember, feeling jealous is extremely normal, however, you have to ask yourself why are you feeling this way? It can stem from a sense of insecurity within yourself and/or your relationship. Remember that your partner is with you for a reason and only you, your personality, traits, good looks, and humour are all factors that made them choose you in the first place. Sometimes it is worth reminding yourself of your worth and all the positive things you have to offer in the relationship.
- Stop overthinking
It is easy to become jealous when you see something on social media, maybe a new picture of them that your partner has just liked, or they are both attending the same event. Social media can be an extremely toxic place when it comes to overthinking and the more you snoop, the more likely you are going to convince yourself to find something you might get jealous about. Avoid situations where you find yourself monitoring their social media activity as it might not be all that it seems. Before you jump to any conclusions; communicate with them.
- Don’t play games
Whatever you do, don’t play games. It is not uncommon for people to try and make themselves feel better by flirting with other people or saying things in a hope to make their partner jealous. This will only add fuel to the fire as it will not solve anything or make the relationship better. Worse yet, it might give them ammo to go out and cheat to turn the blame back on you for ‘flirting’ with other people.
- Adjust your mindset
Jealousy often stems from a lack of self-worth or believing what you want is unreachable. As soon as you believe in yourself and your worth, you will be surprised at how your mindset changes. Thinking from a place of abundance instead of jealousy can cease all negative thoughts and emotions into positive and realistic ones.
Remember to breathe and relax. At the end of the day, whether your relationship will end in marriage or a break-up, you want to see where it goes and enjoy the time you have together. You don’t want to put unnecessary strain on the relationship for something that might not have even had to happen. Instead of enjoying each day with each other, you find yourselves arguing and having more negative times than positive ones. Allow yourself a bad day here and there, but don’t let your emotions cloud your judgement and end in a destructive relationship.
Jealousy can be tough and sometimes straining in a relationship, but these are the most important ways you can help overcome it. By working on yourself to adjust your mindset and communicating with your partner can drastically help shift those negative feelings into positive ones.